Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize