girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
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Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
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So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
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