Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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