i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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