yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
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I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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