maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
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