Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize