Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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