She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
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If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
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I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
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