dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize