my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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