Capitaan dildo arrescate!
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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