If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize