I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
My ass is underappreciated
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize