i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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