the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
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i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
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I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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