just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Randomize