Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
My orgasm happened in two different decades
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
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