I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize