Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
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