I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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