yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
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I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
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Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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