i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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