why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize