Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
babies were throwing up all over the place
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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