I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
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