So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
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Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
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I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
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