don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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