So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
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Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
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