i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
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