he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize