New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize