Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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