It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize