Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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