Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
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The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
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I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
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