I just saw a hot homeless man
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
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