I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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