thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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