Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
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His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
She told me I should be a condom model.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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