if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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