walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
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I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
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The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
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I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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