Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Randomize