Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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