Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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