She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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