I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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