AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
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also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
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I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I pour the whiskey from now on
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