my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
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