id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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